Ive come to the realization today as to why I dont try very many new things or try my "best" at things. I don't try because im affraid that if I do my best and don't succeed, then I have failed. If I do my best and still fail, then I am a failure and that is not acceptable. So I choose not to try and just settle with what I have. I also realized that I know alot about nothing. I can sit there and talk to anyone about anything and not look stupid, but I could not lead an argument on very many things. I think that that is a good thing, I can talk to anyone and still not look stupid, but everyone I talk to knows more about the subject than I do, which is frustrating.

I talked to Grant last night and he gave me some advice that I think I am gonna put into effect. He told me that he is absolutely in love with a girl right now, but it is not the right time so he chooses to do nothing about it. Instead he spends his time trying to occupy his mind with smart things like studying. After this summer, I will be working for my dad. The only way I will meet new people is either at school or church, and God knows that I am not extroverted enough to go up to someone and just talk to them, they have to come to me. This way I can focus on God, my school and my family, the important things in my life. Neither God nor my family has ever let me down, I need that stability in my life. Im not a big fan of change, but sometimes it needs to happen. I get into a comfort zone and dont like to go out of it. I am very conservative and personal. My dad said that I need to find a roommate so that I can get my apartment or duplex. Its gonna be really hard to find someone in Arlington that is willing to share a house with me since I dont know anyone there. Oh and the big kicker is that it has to be a guy. I HATE living with guys, they suck. They never clean and guys are so mean to each other. Girls are clean and friendly, I do better with girls.

As if Outkast was not being overplayed as is, their new song is on Fuse right now. Today it is not old yet, but I have seen the stupid video three times already in the 2 hours I have been awake.

Yesterday I had to be at work at 8 and the reason that I was supposed to be there was for a huge order, but the order was not until thursday, so guess what I am doing tom morning at 8. WORKING!!!! I know that if I wanted to, I could work at the Double Dave's in Fort Worth, but I am so tired of my job I dont want to keep working there. But I only need a job for the summer since I will be working for my dad this fall. I cannot afford to not have a job, my bills a month are dang close to a grand. BILLS SUCK!! I need to make more money.

What would the world be like if we did not have the technology that we do today? No computers, no TV, no phones. I would have loved to have lived back in the early 1920's. Before the stock market crashed. When people were polite to each other and you did not have to worry about the crime you do today. A simpler life is what I want. I also think it was very cool for every guy you see to be in a suit and a hat and look presentable. Women to be in dresses and leave something to the imagination. What happened to America? There is no respect anymore. People today take too many things for granted. Im sure that I do also, but I dont forget what my ancestors did for me. American Revolution, World War I and II, Vietnam, etc. They gave their lives so that we could be free today. The funny part is that we are not free, but that is another tangent that would take more space than I am alloted to write. Lindsay wanting to go to the Army has gotten me thinking alot lately. A while back I went and talked to an Air Force recruiter and did the interview deal. I did not think twice about it. But here I sit, telling you what is wrong with America, and what am I doing to help change it? I AM SITTING HERE!!!

im going running

Daniel