philosophy on life

My philosophy on life has changed. If you were to die tonight, what would people say about you at your funeral? I hope that people would say that I was a great friend, always willing to lend a hand, a best friend. But as of now, I think that people would say nice things just becuase that is what you do at a funeral, you say nice things about the deceased. However, I dont think that many of them would mean it. I know my mom and dad (if they are still alive) would be devistated, they would think that the world could not go on. Would anyone else feel the same way?!?!?

I have a friend who writes a "newsletter" every wednesday that is full of totally random crap that he thinks of during the week. The newsletter this week starts of "Hey everybody. These three things I know are true: itís never too late to start smoking, you canít spell phonics using phonics, and this is your Wednesday newsletter." Im sure that its not as funny to yall, but if you knew him, you would be laughing outloud. He continues with "These things make me feel badass: Sweeping a best of five series in paper, rock, scissors - Blaring rap music unnecessarily loud in a crowded parking lot - Verbally taunting a cop from the safety of my own vehicle - Sneaking a piece of meat into a Veggie pizza - Not smiling for pictures - Going through the EZ Tag when I donít have money to pay the toll"

"I was at the gas station the other day and while I was standing in line I heard the most outrageous thing in quite some time. The lady in front of me and her six year old daughter were buying lottery tickets. Now this wasnít the classiest lady youíve ever seen. She asked her daughter ì Now what is mommy going to buy when we hit the winning numbers?î The little girl tells the lady behind the counter, ìWeíre going to buy a house so we donít have to live in a trailer no more.î What a great lesson to teach your six year old
daughter that the road to home ownership goes through the Texas state lotto. I almost expected the girl to tell me how she picks the winning numbers. ì We choose 16 because thatís how old mommy was when she got pregnant with me, 7 because thatís the last grade mommy completed, 22 for the number of men who might be my daddy, 35 for the percentage of our food stamps we spend
on the lotto, and 4 for the number of foster homes I lived in while mommy was in rehab.î I felt bad because this girl has very little chance at succeeding in life. I almost slipped her a twenty and told her to put it in the bank so by the time sheís 15 and pregnant it will have earned enough interest to pay for the abortion. That will save tax payers money on her childís future drug problem and welfare needs. I think itís a progressive new way of dealing with social indigents. Give them twenty dollars now and save thousands in the future. I donít think I could get elected on this platform, but I might be able to win Texas and Mississippi."

I want to throw a surpirse party for no reason. I mean on someone's brithday they may not be expecting it, but they have their gaurd up just incase. Why does it have to be someone's birthday to throw a surprise party? Imagine how surprised your best friend would be if they showed up at their place of residence and "SURPRISE" and then everyone starts to party. Im gonna do it one of these days.... watch out!!